why is he my boyfriend?!

i am so pissed!ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok i might as well give u background info.ive been gouing out with this guy for about 2 years on and off!i love him but hes broken my heart many times! now weve been friends with benefits for a few weeks and he asked me to go out with him again .i thought about it 4 a few dayd and said yes only cause i didnt wanna hurt him.ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ahhhhh! i hate everything! i know hes not the one 4 me! i cant believe anything he says to me ! flip all this! i wanna be free! god damn! why!my life is no0t progressing the way i want it!ahhhh!screw this . i love him but im not going to deal with his shit!i dont wanna!nooooo! i wanna go out right now hit on lots of guys dance with a bunch of guys and go get hammered1!screw this!who sayshe is the only one who can cut off this relationship!who the hell says hes in control?!flip him!im fine on my own!i wanna be no one but me!i wanna be crazy dance do what i want! i damn know the differece between lust and love!what u say and what u say are two different things! screw it all! why dont u go flip as many girls as you can!go be pompus and self absorbed somewhere else! i wanna be free from ur shit! gop ahead make me believe you love me!go aheaddddddddddddd!try god damn you!im sick of this shit life !im going to be the boss of it ! flip this shit!u think ur gonna break my heart again !noooooooo! ur not going to!im fine on my own! i hate and love you!get away!you dont confuse he! your too simple and its not my job to make you more than that ! right when im content and happy with my life and get everything in order you have to go and flip it up again! you not the one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you were once my sun gave me life but now your a drug a addiction i cant cut!!!!yopu proved youb didnt love me god damn you!you bastered get outta my life ! you drug you sick flip!you make me so happy only to tear me down in the end!why god damn you do i love you?!why dont you kill me already! ram the knife into me ! do it! nowwwwwww!yeah take advantage of the fact that i love you too much to kill you. take advantage of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!you knucklehead leave!i want security in a relationship you can never give me that!you proved that already!god damn you !i want to stop loving you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!am i just a person to pass the time with?! just a bitch!i hate you ! stop toying with meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how dare you ask me to be yours when i know damn well you are not mine!you once were my everything and you threw it away! screw chances! i gave you too many already!im gone ! gone!away from you!you make me want to kill everything i touch! how dare you ask me to come back?! how dare you! this is all your fault!im going to go crazy if i want to!you cant constrain me! i loved you with a passion! you dumped in down the sink !you cant fish it back out! you will never change !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1never ! ive changed for you and tryed!you never even tried! you mother knucklehead!

I think you and too many other people think of "love" as a feeling... I think of love as a verb... it's something that you do. It's not someplace you fall or someplace you're in... it's something you do. When someone "loves" you they treat you in a way that makes you feel good about them and yourself.... all the time!!! If those aren't the feelings your getting from this guy then he isn't loving you... And more importantly, you are not loving yourself if you allow someone to be a part of your life who treats you that way.

yeh give him the boot, my friend is going thur that right now, the guy she is with has 8 kids with 3 diff women, they been together for the last 4 yrs, right now as we speak he is on vacation with his second set of kids and the mom, and she was talking to me and she is all upset about it, shes talkin bout tell him something when he comes back and i told her it dont make no diff what u tell him, you have only one choice to make an that is to give him the boot because u will never be his one and only, also i said to her where is your self respect.

break up with him....but make sure you do it before he gets the chance to!