You ever feel like you're trapped in your own life, like a prisoner? My life has been a shallow pool of degredation.
My anxiety is so bad these days i can barely even talk to anyone, i can barely even speak to my friends..
It's normal for me to run situations or conversations over in my head many times afterward, the constant thought that something is wrong, when i know that i am being irrational but i just can't shake the thoughts that run through my brain.
It' like there's two forces inside me fighting to become the true me but they constantly cancel each other out leaving me an empty shell of a being.
Work is hell, it's not particularly hard work but i do leave drenched in my own sweat. I contemplate saying fork you i quit every single day, i really should quit but i need the money. The job pays well but i am constantly contemplating whether or not the money is worth how much anger it brings me. Seriously this place is loopy, if anything ever gets broken they give it a quick jerry rig and call it fixed.
Many of the people are just plain vile, you have morons, know it alls, and then the hard working mexicans who just make everyone else look bad, then you have the old crones who have been working there all their lives so they are naturally miserable, then you have the people like me who show up every day and bust ass, but still never get any appreciation or respect. You come in do a great job and basically get told it' not good enough, you got supervisors just standing there watching everyone boil in the heat, they're like slave masters. We have a two hour interval to get our work done but then you bitch when shit isn't done properly, maybe you should give us some more loopy time then! Or here's an idea, get in here and loopy help!
fork the government, that is all.